Are you stumped when it comes to figuring out what to talk about with girls and women? It's not really that hard, and we've got some excellent tips that will give you a nudge in the right direction. After all, women are just people, and there are a few great conversation starters that work for almost everyone. We'll go over the pitfalls of chatting with a female you don't know well, conversational topics to bring up with female friends and, naturally, what to talk about on a first date.
1. Talking to a Woman You Just Met
When you chat with a female you don't know, it's a different scenario than when you're carrying on a conversation with someone familiar, like a coworker. In either case, you'll want to be engaged in the conversation and listening to what they have to say. Your interest can be shown by making eye contact, nodding, and asking follow-up questions. Another way to show that you're paying attention is to share a similar scenario about yourself. But wait until she's had the floor for a couple of minutes and the two of you have talked about her subject first.
If you're the one opening up a conversation, crazy as it sounds, the weather is always a safe topic with someone you don't know well. It's not personal, and it's something everyone can relate to. You can always come up with an observation about how hot or cold it's been or all the rain that's been falling. This gives you an opening to ask about her. Here are a few sample conversation starters:
Did you have to drive to work in the rain yesterday?
Are you used to this heat, or are you from somewhere else originally?
What kind of things do you like to do in the winter/spring/summer/fall?
The best way to keep a conversation going is to ask open-ended questions. For example, instead of asking if she watches Game of Thrones, inquire whether there are any shows on TV that she likes to watch. If you're chatting with a young woman in her twenties, you might ask if she's still in school. That's a good conversational opening because the two of you can talk about where she goes and what she's studying, or if she's not a student, chat about where she works.
2. Chatting with a Younger Woman
A good thing to keep in mind when talking to a younger woman in her late teens or early twenties is that girls that age tend to be defensive when talking with men they don't know well. Unfortunately, it's because they or their friends have had conversations with guys that hit on them in the first five minutes and/or talked about inappropriate subjects. Unfair as it seems, you'll have to prove you're not one of 'those guys' before she'll trust you.
What's an inappropriate topic to bring up? Really, anything that's too personal or intimate is off limits if you want to make a good impression. For instance, she'll feel less threatened if you compliment her briefcase or iPad than if you tell her you like her hairstyle. Or compliment the dress, but not her figure in it, if you get the drift. Here's a line that tends to go over well: "I like your sense of humor!" Try talking to that gorgeous new acquaintance as if she's a friend and not possible dating material. Ironically, this will increase your chances of getting a date.
3. What Subjects to Bring Up During a First Date
Now you're on the first date with your new friend and wondering what to talk about to make the conversation flow. Don't think it's goofy to plan ahead with a mental list of conversation topics because it's actually a smart move. Especially these days, when meeting on a dating site has become the new normal. Without shared activities or friends to discuss, it can sometimes be challenging to keep the conversation lively.
Be sure and give her a genuine compliment on her appearance, like "That dress looks great on you!" or "I like your hair that way." Women almost always take the time to look their very best on a first date and, in this case, the smart move is to give her the attention she deserves. If the conversation stalls, follow-up questions about things you've already discussed are safe ground. You're basically continuing a conversation that the two of you have already started and are comfortable with.
If you're on a date with someone you met online, be sure and go over every conversation the two of you already had before the date. Reread your chats because you want to make sure to remember what's already been discussed. And memorize the interests and activities mentioned in her profile. Talking about things she's already interested in will ensure that she holds up her end of the conversation. Remember that she's nervous, too!
Before you ask a question, think about whether it can be answered with a simple yes or no. If it can, rephrase it. The second question below is more open-ended and will give your date a chance to help keep the exchange of ideas going.
1. So, you're originally from South Dakota?
2. So, what's it like in South Dakota?
If she asks you a question, answer it fully but don't go on too long. Find a way to throw the conversational ball back to her court. It's the best way for the two of you to get to know each other and engage in a conversation with a natural flow. Before long, you'll be having a lively chat without even thinking about it.
4. Nonverbal Cues in Conversation
The best conversationalists pay attention to the other person's body language as well as their tone of voice and what they're saying. Sitting up straight and looking alert, making eye contact and nodding – those are signs that a person is interested in what you have to say. If your date isn't meeting your eyes or has her arms folded in front of her, that could be a sign that you need to change the topic of conversation.
Or, it could be a sign that you're not letting her finish what she's saying and interrupting too often. It happens to the best of us when we get nervous. Set a goal at the beginning of the evening to listen as much as you speak, and don't forget to ask leading questions to encourage her to continue. Most of all, invest in being truly interested in what she has to say. Really listen instead of planning what you're going to say next.
5. Things to Say to Put Your Date at Ease
If you start with the three things we've mentioned so far, you're halfway there:
1. Bring up subjects that the two of you have talked about before.
2. Give your date plenty of opportunities to participate in the conversation.
3. Show a real interest in what she has to say.
Sometimes, though, people can be nervous or anxious on a first date, and it has nothing to do with you. Then, your mission will be to put her at ease and help her relax and enjoy the date. One way to get off to a good start is to be on time when picking her up or meeting each other at a location. The first thing you should say is that you're really happy she could make it or that you're so glad to see her, in your own words, of course. Once you're settled in, ask how her day has been going.
If your date still seems uncomfortable, try telling a short, funny story about something that happened to you. Ask one of those easy, open-ended questions to get her mind off of being nervous. The menu is also a helpful aid for making light conversation. You can ask her if she's tried some of the dishes that are offered and perhaps tie that in with her favorite dish to cook at home.
6. Getting Personal Too Quickly
With any new relationship, especially a dating one, the two people involved need to take the time to get to know each other slowly. Don't feel as if you have to tell your life story, or even the highlights, on a first date. By the same token, don't press for too much information from her until the two of you get to know each other better.
Instead of the personal questions, ask her what she thinks about the topics of the day. Has she read about Elon Musk and his Hyperloop project? What does she think about global warming? Ask her if she prefers outdoor or indoor activities, and then ask which ones are her favorite, and why. Here's a tip – don't automatically agree with everything your date says. This is a chance for both of you to get to know each other's thoughts and opinions and find out if the two of you 'click'. And you'll be more interesting to her if you express your own thoughts, even if you disagree with each other about some issues.
7. Some Interesting Topics to Discuss
Friends in Common
If the two of you have mutual friends, that's a topic that will put you both at ease and it can also spin the conversation off in different directions. You can tell about where you met your friends and how long you've known them, or tell an amusing anecdote about them. The ultimate in friend assistance on a first date is doubling with another couple. True, you won't experience the same intimacy as you would on a single date, but it can be a comfortable transition between meeting a woman and having an extended one-on-one encounter.
Hobbies and Interests
Not too many people are in love with their jobs to the extent that it's the most interesting thing in their lives. Instead of asking the usual questions about what your date does at work, try digging deeper for what really interests her. Ask if she has any gaming, crafting, sporting or other interests outside of work. This shows that you see her as a creative individual who's more than just a job title.
Travel Plans or Desires
Chances are, if you ask a woman where she's traveled, you'll be starting an interesting conversation. You can also share details about your journeys, and both of you can talk about your dream destinations. This is a great question for determining compatibility, even though it's a fun and light topic. If she's into wilderness camping and you prefer luxury cruises, that's an indication you might have other differences as well.
It's Not Rocket Science (Really!)
You've got this covered as long as you give it some thought ahead of time. It's better to be prepared than to fly blindly through life hoping that things work out. Again, remember that everyone's a little nervous when talking to new people including the women you meet. They may seem calm and collected, but maybe that's because they read the article about 'how to talk to men!' There are some universal subjects that everyone can relate to, and if you take the time to think of some, and pay attention to the person you're chatting with, you'll do just fine.